I Prayed for This… Now I’m Overwhelmed

Jennifer Parr (: 00:00

Welcome back. I'm so glad you're here. Whether you are in the carpool line, whether you're driving to work, whether you're on your lunch break, whether you are at home, no matter where you are, I'm just so glad to have this time together. I intentionally make these episodes about 20 to 25 minutes because as women, sometimes that's all the time we have. So I want to talk about something that has been very convicting for me lately.

Our son will be turning seven in a few weeks. I know, I still can't believe that. I remember when he was born. But I felt very convicted because you know how your phone cycles through pictures and it just seems to place the right picture, the right memory. It even feels like some music in the background and next thing you know, you find yourself watching this cycle of pictures and just bringing back memories. So it had put together the best album and I was just watching it and I found myself weeping.

Weeping. Now, if you know me, you know it doesn't take much for me to cry. I could be watching movie and someone in that movie is crying and next thing you know, I'm bawling. But what made me cry was because I couldn't believe that at some point, at one point, at a very dark moment in my life, I was unsure about the precious life of our son. Not because anything was wrong with him. His life is valuable. His life is so precious.

and he has been the sweetest kid. And while children are a blessing, I was so overwhelmed that I thought another child was going to be burdensome. I'm sharing that with you because I want to talk about how blessings can start to feel burdensome. Blessings that we've hoped for, blessings that we've prayed for, blessings that we've celebrated, all of a sudden suddenly start to feel heavy. Maybe it's motherhood for you. Maybe it's your marriage.

It could be your job. Maybe you're in a season of singleness. You could be a caregiver and you're caring for your aging parents. Whatever it is, it's easy to feel like the very same thing that you prayed for at one point is now starting to feel like a burden. Today, we're going to talk about what to do when a blessing starts to feel like a burden. But we'll also talk about the world's messages and how those messages get in the way. You know me, I'm going to break it down and just add scripture so that

Jennifer Parr (: 02:21

We can look at what God says about this and then I'll leave you with how to shift your perspective. Even if you're in that season right now, even if the weight that you're feeling is heavy, I promise you, Jesus, you are in the right place. You tuned into the right episode. So let's start with why blessings can start to feel like burdens. I don't think it's 100 % your fault because culture plays a part and contributes to you feeling like the blessings that we have, the blessings that...

we prayed for at some point, or even the blessings that we know other people don't have, why do they start to feel like a burden? Well, I'm sure there's many, but I'll give you three just right off the back. Think about this. When motherhood, marriage, singleness, or even your service starts requiring sacrifice, it can feel like it's getting in the way of you. And I think one of the reasons that these things which are blessings start to feel like burdens is because of culture's message of self-fulfillment.

And this is a message that I talk about frequently on this podcast. And it's the message about do what makes you happy. We're conditioned to view any kind of restraint or inconvenience as a threat to our personal joy. So motherhood requires sacrifice. Absolutely. Will there be seasons where you are not happy? A lot of times. Does that mean that you throw your kids away? Absolutely not. Should you complain about your kids being a burden?

Probably not wise. Maybe you don't have kids, but your marriage is bringing friction and you're not in a season of the fireworks anymore. Culture's message of self-fulfillment is you're not happy, get divorced. Or maybe you're single and singleness is just no longer glamorous. At one point it was like you're proud to be single, you're happy to be single, you're doing your thing, and now you're getting the pressure. And it just doesn't feel glamorous. You're not happy anymore. So in these seasons, you start to wonder, did I miss God?

because this doesn't feel like a blessing anymore. Alan and I will be celebrating 10 years of marriage this year. I'm so excited. But I'm also grateful just to have the marriage that we have, not because it's perfect, far from it, but because we have worked through a lot of things. Were there seasons that I wasn't happy? Every marriage has those. But I learned that the source of my happiness was not meant to be put on the shoulders of Alan.

Jennifer Parr (: 04:42

Which now leads me to my next point of why blessings can start to feel burdensome and that is unrealistic expectations. Social media will paint motherhood, marriage, even singleness in an unrealistic, highly curated way. You'll see joy across your timeline, you'll see success, worldly success, you'll see fulfillment, but you don't always see the sweat, the tears, or the waiting. I recently came across a YouTube channel and it was a content creator who was

pretty much calling out these influencers. One content creator was at the gym and she was lifting these weights and she had all these weights at an angle that you could see. But then someone else in the gym was filming her and the side that you couldn't see had no weights on there. So she was really only lifting half of what you saw online. Once again, just deception. I shared a little bit earlier about when I found out that we were pregnant with our second child and this was just five months.

after our first child was born. I didn't know what to expect from motherhood, but in that season, being a new mom, being new parents, not getting a lot of sleep, I was overwhelmed. I was so exhausted. And I'll admit, I didn't want to be pregnant again. And this is a very hard topic for me to talk about now because I look back now and I look at our sweet boy, I look at how

I feared that the pregnancy would be hard and it worked its way out where I ended up having an easier pregnancy with him. He was a calm as baby. He was a self-soother. And so if you don't know what that is, that's just a child who knows how to soothe himself. I was terrified to add another child into what I felt like I was already failing at. And that was failing at being a mother. The beauty is that even though I felt like I was failing, God never saw me as a failure.

And when I was dealing with all the diapers, was dealing with the loneliness and blaming my life and thinking that my life was the problem. Woe is me. It's because I had an unrealistic expectation of motherhood and an unrealistic expectation for myself. I had to learn how to show myself grace in that season and embrace parenting as a gift, not as a burden, which leads me to another reason as to why blessings can start to feel like a burden.

Jennifer Parr (: 07:05

And that's because of the lack of support and community. A blessing without a support system will feel like a burden every single time. I isolated myself in the beginning stages of motherhood. I'm not sure why I did, but I just did. So if you're mothering alone, if you're caregiving with no help, if you're navigating an illness or just some health issues that you have, maybe you're shouldering responsibilities that really might not be yours to carry.

It's always going to feel like too much. And you're not weak for feeling that way. You're simply human. But many of us are doing life in isolation. Some people like to call it, I'm just private. But it's really isolation. You may be parenting, and you're just super private about your kids and your parenting life. But are you suffering in silence? Maybe you are managing a health diagnosis that you don't want people to know about.

But perhaps if you invite people in, then that gives them an opportunity to pray for you. I know I said I was going to share three, but I've got just two more that I thought about, and that is delayed gratification can feel like denial. Sometimes God works in seasons, but we live in such a microwave world that if the reward doesn't show up fast enough, then we assume that we're in the wrong place. And then finally, I thought of one last one, and that is just unhealed wounds. Unhealed wounds is a tricky one because it shows up

whenever we get new blessings. Sometimes new blessings can feel threatening because we haven't healed from our past yet. A perfect example of this is marriage. Marriage uncovers childhood insecurity. Parenting can reveal traits like perfectionism. Ministry, my gosh, that can expose characteristics like pride. So if you don't let God address these wounds, then when it's time to step into our purpose or God is using our gifts in these seasons, we start to resent these gifts.

I remember one of my first jobs after I graduated college was working at a call center. That was a job that paid very well, but I strongly disliked that job. I'm trying not to use another word. I strongly disliked that job. The environment was just tough to show up as my best self every day. But that season really refined my communication skills. That season taught me how to stay calm under pressure.

Jennifer Parr (: 09:30

It just helped me show up and show up with integrity, even when people around me were not always honest. So why does that matter? Because at some point I prayed for that job. After college, Sallie Mae was hitting me with all of these loans and I was like, I need a job so I can pay for this. And I remember that prayer. And then I got the job and I started to complain about it because it was so hard. So when I start to feel like culture is leading me in a direction that just

highlights the negativities of my life or just makes me feel like these blessings are actually burdened, I go to what God says. I want to share scriptures that spoke life to me about the feeling of blessings becoming burdensome. Psalm 127 verse 3. says, are a heritage from the Lord, a reward from him. So what does that mean? Well, Psalm 127 is a song attributed to Solomon.

It speaks about the futility of labor without God and the blessing of trusting Him in both work and family life. So this Psalm actually links fruitfulness, especially in family, as a sign of God's favor, not just as a duty to manage. Y'all, I think it's amazing how I cannot find one verse in the Bible that women were complaining about their children. I couldn't find one verse. If you find a verse, let me know.

So just like how Psalm 127.3 says that children are a heritage of the Lord, I want to keep that in mind, that children are a blessing. And in a culture that often paints children as exhaustion or inconvenient, this verse reminds us that motherhood is a reward, it's not a punishment. I promise you, it can feel like it at times, but it is not a punishment. It is not just about raising children. It's about God seeing you fit to train up that child.

Even on days when it feels draining, motherhood does carry generational impact and eternal value. And if you're not a mother, women are just nurturing by nature. And we still have the gift to impact generations, to impact people, even if we didn't birth them. And finally, Galatians 6, 9 says, let us not become wary in doing good, for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. So what's happening here?

Jennifer Parr (: 11:52

Well, Paul is writing to a church and he's encouraging them to live by the Spirit and care for one another. In chapter six, he talks about something and how those who walk in obedience will one day see fruit, even if it doesn't come right away. Now, the context matters because this verse speaks directly to seasons where obedience feels thankless. Maybe you're not sure how the late nights with the kids are ever going to pay off, or you forgiving your spouse over and over again.

is actually going to do good. Maybe you're serving in silence or you're just patiently waiting. You're just being faithful. What Paul is saying is simple. He's saying, don't quit. That's it. Even when no one sees the seeds that you're sowing, God does. And he promises it won't be in vain. So as we wrap up, I want to leave you with the opportunity to shift your perspective. It's okay if something I said made you feel convicted. I think that's what these conversations are for.

You can learn to just shift your perspective with the current burden that you may be feeling. You might be on a career path that has just felt like a burden lately. Maybe you don't like your job. Maybe you're in a role that you feel overqualified for. Or maybe you're in a job that you just simply didn't want. Well, maybe a blessing because God often uses these unexpected assignments to develop character. Sometimes they can even lead to divine connections or prepare you for something bigger.

I think of a scripture that goes with this that comes from Proverbs 69 and it says, their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. That means you think that you're in control, but it's really God that is ordering your steps. And so it doesn't mean that you can't move on or seek for a better job or a better career path. It just means that you have an opportunity to look at what God is trying to teach you in this season that you're in. Let's talk about marriage.

Maybe your marriage is difficult right now or it's just unfulfilling. That's okay. Sometimes that alone can just feel burdensome and some women will carry it silently because they don't want others to know that they're struggling or that maybe they don't feel fulfilled in their marriage. Whatever that is, it's sometimes linked to unmet expectations and it can create emotional distance in marriage. So a way to create a perspective shift, a way to look at it different to where it could be a blessing is that

Jennifer Parr (: 14:14

Remember, marriage is not meant to make you happy. That is a cultural message that is a lie and will actually destroy a lot of marriages. Marriage is about refining. Sometimes marriage can reveal selfishness. It can trigger healing, but it also teaches sacrificial love. And it's not just about happiness. It's about holiness and transformation. Another perspective shift that I would encourage you to have

is if you are in a season of singleness or you're waiting for a spouse or to be in a relationship, that sometimes can feel like a burden. And it's hard to see that single of season is as a blessing. I totally understand. But where the blessing may be is that these waiting seasons can often produce the deepest spiritual growth. I know that I grew so much when I was single. It's not for any other reason other than the fact that I couldn't blame anybody else.

for the things that I was lacking. These waiting seasons can often be a season where God is encouraging you to just draw near to Him. It's an opportunity for you to have clarity, to have closeness with God. That's where the blessing often lies. And it's where your identity becomes rooted in faith, not your circumstance. Another perspective shift is with your health. The blessing, which I know is hard to find.

in the midst of health challenges is that maybe these limitations can lead to a greater dependence on God. God has plans for you and he could be reshifting and reordering your priorities so that this season that you're in becomes a space where his grace is most tangible. And then finally, I know I've talked about just caring for your parents or being a caregiver, but I know that that can feel like a burden.

And the blessing could be that God honors faithful stewardness. I mean, these hidden acts of love are often the places where we most clearly live out the heart of Christ. It takes grace. It takes a lot of patience to care for aging parents, family members, your church. But that invisible work is not invisible to God. You don't have to have this miraculous aha moment to start to have a perspective shift. You can start today.

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Here are some examples I encourage you to write down. So whenever I come home and the house is messy, it's easy for me to feel like I have to clean up again. I have to do this laundry again. I have to fill in the blank. Whatever that is, shift your vocabulary and just say, I get to do this. I get to be present. I get to sew into someone's life today. This shift will transform what you feel as an obligation into an opportunity. Another one we say a lot is, this is exhausting.

I said that just an hour ago. Instead, I have switched it to, this is stretching me. There are seasons that can be draining. I feel like I'm in one now. But what if we also recognize the growth that comes through the stretching? I also say this a lot and that's this season is developing strength I didn't know that I had. Another one that I often say to myself is the feeling of I'm behind. And I shift that to I'm on God's timeline. So you may feel like someone else is moving ahead. I have felt that way.

I remember when all my friends were getting married and I was still single. All my friends started having babies. I wasn't even married yet. My friends are launching businesses and I'm like, I'm just trying to get my life. So instead of saying I'm behind or feeling like I'm behind, just shift to say I'm on God's timeline. These are just simple ways you can shift the negative perspective into seeing it as a blessing. These shifts don't dismiss the hard stuff. They just simply help us walk through it with more grace.

with more peace, a little bit more awareness about God's presence, but they also renew our minds so that we can look at this burden that we feel, this season that we're in, but look at it through the lens of truth. So take a deep breath. Take a deep breath, sis. Maybe you don't need a new assignment. Maybe you don't need a new job. Maybe you need to quit your job. Just kidding. Whatever it is,

We just need a little bit more grace and ask God, what is it that you want me to learn in this season? Father, thank you for seeing us in every season. Thank you for the blessings that you've entrusted to us, even when they come with weight, even when they come with sacrifice, even when they come with surrender. Lord, forgive us for the times that we've called these blessings that you've given us a burden.

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Help us to reframe, help us to recenter and refocus on you and you alone. And Lord, remind us that you are working all things, not some things, but all things for our good.

So Lord, ask that you strengthen the woman on the other side of this podcast who's tired. Strengthen the woman who's lonely, who feels overwhelmed. Lord, help her to see the beauty in what she carries. I pray that our burdens reveal your blessing and your blessing only. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.

Thank you again, ladies. While this message may have been convicting, I pray that you take some time just to sit to see what God may be teaching you in this season. I pray that your heart feels led to shift your perspective and consider some of those things that you feel may be a burden and see them as a blessing. Go win this week and make God proud. Bye for now.