For the Woman Who’s Wondering if It’s Worth It

Jennifer Parr (: 00:00

Hey friend, welcome back. So today's episode was inspired by something that I observed recently. I went to a few graduations and at the end of all three of the graduations, I left in tears. I noticed that when the valedictorian or the class president got up to speak, almost every single one of them thanked their mom. But here's what really stood out. I never once heard, I would like to thank my mom because she held this position at this company.

Instead, they celebrated the quiet things, the sacrifices, the presence, the patience. These are the things that don't usually make it onto the resume, but they shape lives in ways that words could barely capture. At least that's how I felt at those graduations. Now on this podcast, we talk a lot about work. We talk about your calling and your purpose in aligning success with significance. But today I want to shift our focus to another kind of work that matters.

deeply to God. The unseen kind. The quiet, the faithful, the everyday work that doesn't get the applause, but I think it builds your legacy. It shapes those around you. I'll share the five types of work that I have found to be significant and that make generational and kingdom impact. And the best part is that you don't need a title. You don't need a paycheck. You don't need a platform to do this type of work. And the first one is the work of consistency.

This is showing up faithfully when no one else is celebrating you. I think one of the hardest things about being a woman, especially if you're someone who's trying to love her family well and honor God, is that so much, so much of what we do feels repetitive. This could be the house chores, the dishes that never stay done. I don't know what it's like in y'all's house, but we've switched to paper plates and plastic cups and the dishes still feel like they never get done.

The laundry that always seems to pile up. We have two active kids. I have an active husband. I'm active and playing tennis. I mean, we're just an active family and y'all, the laundry just multiplies. It quadruples. I am a sucker for looking up systems that will work to just make the house function more seamlessly. And honestly, y'all, these routines that I find, they don't seem to stay in place for very long.

Jennifer Parr (: 02:23

But I'm sharing that to say that this is why I think consistency is one of the most beautiful forms of worship. The other day, my daughter asked me, mommy, why do you get up so early? Now, she asked me this in the presence of my sister, who knows me very well. And my sister chuckled because she was like, Jennifer wakes up early. Most of my life, I have been known to be the one in the family that always slept in, probably why I was always running late. But once I was asleep, I was out and y'all

I don't think that changed. Like people told me when I started having kids, they're like, oh, you're going to become a light sleeper. No, I am still a very heavy sleeper. But what I did have to do was change my rhythm to wake up early in the morning so that I could have time for myself before my family gets up. And so whether that is showing up for your family, whether that's showing up for yourself, it's the quiet decision to keep showing up, even when nobody else is celebrating you. I think of Luke 16 10 that says, whoever can be trusted with very little.

can also be trusted with much. It's almost like to whom much is given, much is required. God isn't just watching the big impressive moments of our lives. He's watching the small ones too. So maybe that looks like you creating a routine that helps your family rest. Maybe you're the one that can step up and plan the meals and make life run a little bit smoother just by simply creating a peaceful space where the people in your home, where you feel safe. Those might be those small things, those small things.

But they matter, they matter so much because chaos drains people. I know it drains our house, but order creates room for peace. It also creates room for creativity and even worship. So I want you to ask yourself, are you showing up only when you feel noticed or are you showing up only when you want to feel noticed? And are you willing to be faithful even when it feels unseen? Because the work of consistency is often unseen.

But here's why it matters. And that's because your consistency is planting seeds that will outlive you. When you show up in the small things, you're not just managing your home or shaping hearts or modeling stability in a world that I think is constantly changing. But your children, your spouse, the people who live under your roof, the people that you are around and that you influence, they're learning what faithfulness looks like by watching you. So yes, consistency is quiet work. Consistency is repetitive.

Jennifer Parr (: 04:49

Consistency is unseen, but I think that consistency builds character, it builds faithfulness, and every small yes builds something bigger than you can see right now. So if you feel like you've grown a little bit tired, a little weary in your daily responsibilities, I would invite you to ask God to meet you there, right where you are, and see how He can change how you see that act as a service unto the Lord and not to man.

So the next kind of quiet work that I think is incredible, especially for Kingdom Impact, is the work of prayer. It's the work of intercession, praying for others without recognition. There are women whose prayers have changed families. I know I am a product of my grandmother's prayers, her mom's prayers, my great, great, great, great, great grandmother's prayers. Generations of prayers has changed

Families even nations so with our kids being seven and eight We've just been letting them pray and talk to God and have a conversation with him However, they they feel like doing so when they were younger. We helped them with guided prayers You know like God is good. God is great Lord. Thank you for this plate That's a prayer that they would say before they ate or just some bedtime prayers Maybe some prayers in the morning, but now that we've explained that prayer simply is just a conversation with God You can pray about anything

You can talk to God about anything. You can bring anything. I mean, anything to God. And so if we're teaching our kids and we're teaching the next generation, they can bring anything to God. What makes it any different for us? Pray for your spouse. Don't try to change them. Pray for them. Pray for your kids. Guide them and steer them, but submit prayers to the Lord on their behalf. Pray for your friends. Pray for your household. Pray for your food. Pray for

the resources that God has given you to provide for your family. Pray for those who you influence. Pray. Because the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. That comes from James 5.16. That means that prayers aren't empty words, but they hold weight, especially to God. So who has God placed on your heart to pray for? And think about how your home, how your children, how your marriage may shift if you consistently cover them in prayer.

Jennifer Parr (: 07:12

Now, if you're like me, I sometimes forget what I'm supposed to be praying for for people. So I keep a prayer log and I just write prayer requests down so that I won't forget. But it also gives me an opportunity to share an update. So the next kind of quiet work that carries a lot of weight is the work of encouragement. I know it's one of those words that you're like work and encouragement. Like, how does that go together? I like to joke and you may have heard me say this, that I'm the CEO of my home. Now, this is not the chief.

Officer of my home, but I'm the chief encouragement officer of my home because just like a chef determines the flavor of a meal like you go to a nice restaurant and that dish comes out and you taste it and you're like, Props to the chef a chef determines the flavor of a meal and just like that our words determine the flavor of our homes and So use them use them to build everyone in your home use them to build others up

Be that chief encouragement officer of your space. I think some of the most powerful ministry doesn't happen on a platform or behind of a microphone, but it happens in the car. It happens in those car conversations. It happens in those hallway conversations, in those little voice memos that you send. I love voice memos, by the way, because it just takes me too long to text. But when you do text, it's in that text that you send a friend who's had a hard week.

It's in the gentle words that you speak to your child when your patience is running thin. It's in those small ways that you remind someone who they are in Christ. So think about your words and do your words bring healing and hope? Or have you let criticism and maybe even comparison creep in? That is how the work of encouragement strengthens others in private. When you encourage people, it's not for public acknowledgement. It's the quiet work.

Yes, those graduates thanked their mom and almost every single one of them said, because my mom always encouraged me. She believed in me when nobody else did. The work of encouragement can leave a legacy impact on people. I think of Proverbs 16, 24 that says, gracious words are a honeycomb. They're sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. That means that your words can either wound, heal, tear down or build up.

Jennifer Parr (: 09:32

And when you choose encouragement, which I encourage you to, you're partnering with the Holy Spirit to bring healing where there might've been hurt. And sometimes this is hard when you're always the one that's encouraging and others around you are not pointing back into you. This could be hard if you're always the one that is celebrating your friends, but it's not reciprocated. This could be hard if you're always one that's encouraging your spouse and they don't do the same.

And then your kids, I stopped even expecting my kids to encourage me because they keep it real. My kids will actually hurt my feelings. They don't realize it, but they'll just be so honest. And I'm like, wow, that was very truthful and that hurts. So I can't rely on them to encourage me, but I know how God sees me. I know how God sees you. And so the work of encouragement is quiet work and it may not be reciprocated, but God sees you. God loves you.

And when you become a woman of encouragement, you're shaping the spiritual climate around you. Now, why is the quiet work of encouragement so important? Well, it's because your home becomes lighter, your relationships become safer. You've heard sometimes at funerals when people talk about those who have passed away, they talk about how that person made them feel. Not what they did, but how that person made them feel. So think about it. Your children learn how to speak life by hearing you do it.

Your husband gains confidence when he's reminded that you're for him, not against him. So never, never, never, never underestimate the ministry of words. Be the CEO, the chief encouragement officer of your home, because one word of life spoken in love can ripple. When I tell you it can have a ripple effect far beyond what you will ever, ever see.

So think about when the last time that you intentionally spoke encouragement into your home or marriage and ask what kind of atmosphere are my words creating in my home? What type of atmosphere are my words creating in my friendships? All right, so we've talked about the work of encouragement. We talked about the work of prayer and we've talked about the work of consistency, like just staying consistent and building systems and rhythms. the next type of work that I want to share often goes on looked, but is so powerful is the work

Jennifer Parr (: 11:47

of submission. Now, I know that word is very triggering for a lot of people, but have you ever thought what it would look like to lay down your desire for control and rest it in God's order? Like that's what submission is. See, for many women, that word comes with a lot of baggage. It's because it's been misused. It's also been misunderstood. And I think

that in a lot of cases it is taken out of biblical context. But submission, think in its truest sense, isn't weakness. It's strength under control. It's trusting God, knowing that God's way is a lot better than your way. Like that song, your way's better. All right, I'm not gonna sing it, but it's about choosing humility instead of trying to control the situation. Like all these are examples of submission.

It's choosing unity instead of trying to be right. It's choosing peace instead of pride. It's those small, those small unseen choices that are so hard to do because we have to relinquish something. Oftentimes it's pride, but it's saying, God, I trust you way more than I trust my feelings. We've been in a series of Titus and Titus 3 says, remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work.

to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, to show perfect courtesy towards all people. Now, that verse isn't about being passive, but it's just about your posture. It's about your heart. It's about describing a heart that's yielded. That's a good way to put it. It's just a yielded heart, one that is ready to do good because it's not fighting against God's authority or timing. And so submission says, Lord, I trust you enough to follow you where you lead, even when I don't understand.

And to see the perfect example of this is in Jesus himself. mean, while Jesus was praying in the Garden of Gethsemane before his crucifixion, Jesus said, Father, if you are willing, please take this cup away. Not for my will, but your will be done. On the other side of that surrender was resurrection. But what is it for you? On the other side of surrender could be a healed marriage. On the other side of surrender could be a changed heart.

Jennifer Parr (: 14:09

On the other side of submission could be peace. See, when you surrender, when we surrender our timing, our plans, any of our preferences to God, we make room for him to resurrect something better. And sometimes, y'all, submission, that could be letting go of a career. It could be letting go of that next move or that relationship or that long-held dream. And other times, it could be small. It could be...

submitting so that you can pack that lunch over again, you can extend grace after an argument over again, or you're choosing to cover your spots in prayer instead of criticizing them. Like when you submit to God's order, you're saying, Lord, you know what? You lead, I'll follow. And I think one of the greatest impacts is that it deepens your relationship with God because you've stopped trying to prove and you've just simply started to trust.

So sis, I encourage you to ask yourself where you have been insisting on maybe your own way and what would that look like for you to submit and trust God and what he's doing. Or how might your home, how might your relationships change if you started living more yielded to God's timing? Now the last kind of quiet work that I wanna share today could also be the hardest and that is the work of repentance and forgiveness. Repentance and forgiveness, y'all, does not.

usually happen in public, it happens in quiet. When I think of the marriages that have been restored, the friendship that have been restored, the families that have been put back together because of forgiveness, my gosh, y'all, that has involved some hard kitchen conversations, some hard car rides filled in silence, or prayers when your heart finally says, Lord, I can't do this anymore.

Repentance and forgiveness means living out grace in real time. Those are the unseen moments, y'all. Those are the unseen battles, the emotional battles, but are some of the most powerful expressions of the gospel that you will ever live out. Y'all, I struggled with forgiveness over the years. I was one of those people who took pride in saying, you know what? I may forgive you, but I won't forget. And I don't know if that's...

Jennifer Parr (: 16:25

true forgiveness, I also struggle with apologizing. And so when I have to apologize to my husband when I'm wrong, it's not just keeping the peace, but it's modeling and reflecting Christ. I've had to apologize to my kids. I share that all the time. Matter fact, I apologize to them this morning for losing my temper. Sometimes it's for overreacting. Sometimes it's for not having a lot of patience, but

I don't think that I'm losing authority when I apologize to them, but I'm gaining credibility. I'm modeling something that Christ would want us to model. Now there are steps when it comes to forgiveness, and I think it's important to set healthy boundaries up when you forgive someone. Doesn't always mean that they're meant to be in your life. When a woman walks in humility, when she models confession and grace, her family sees Jesus in real time. People see Jesus in real time, which really could be the only form.

or character of Jesus that they've seen that day. I think children live what grace looks like not just by hearing it on Sunday, but by seeing it lived out at home. I think your husband's heart may soften when you choose humility over stubbornness. I know there's times I've chosen stubbornness a lot, but when I take the posture of humility, I see something change in the way Alan looks at me or in the way that he thinks about the situation that we were discussing. See, this kind of works.

The work of forgiveness, the work of repentance does have generational impact because it teaches everyone under your roof that brokenness does not have to be the final word. It can become a doorway to healing. And so if you've been holding on to something, whether you're hurt, whether it's an argument, it could be just an old wound that got ripped open again, today's your day to let that go. Maybe today's your day to pray.

and send that text or to have the conversation or plant that seed and simply tell God, you know what? I forgive them. Even if they never ask. It's not deciding that the hurt no longer exists. It does. But when you forgive, I think that peace moves in where maybe resentment once held authority. And so if there's someone that you silently resented or struggling to forgive, what would change if you modeled repentance?

Jennifer Parr (: 18:48

as freely as you expect it from others. And if you look at your life, who in your life needs to experience that grace that you don't deserve, but you have received freely from God. So as we close today, think of the five works that we talked about that are quiet work, the work of consistency, that's showing up faithfully when no one else claps, that's trusting that every small act, every rhythm, just

The faithfulness that matters deeply. It matters so deeply to God. We also talked about the work of prayer, the work of intercession, and that's just praying, praying not for public acknowledgement, but just praying because you can quietly shift atmosphere. can shape generations and you can petition for people. We talked about the work of encouragement and that's just the gentle life giving words that strengthen the hearts in private and set the tone for your home or whatever.

space that you're in. Be the CEO, the chief encouragement officer of your home. And then we talked about the S word, the work of submission, which is just as powerful because you are yielding, you are surrendering to God's time, to God's order and trusting that that surrender positions your heart way more successful than striving or working or controlling ever will. And finally, we ended with the work of repentance.

The one, the work of forgiveness. And these are the kind of works that will never trend. They're not celebrated publicly. You don't get a pat on the back. You don't get a thousand likes for doing this, but they're the ones that echo eternity. And the truth is that I think God sees all these, like the unseen service. He hears those prayers, those acts of humility. Like he applauds us. So this type of work matters. This work matters more.

than any other type of work that you will do. This work matters more than any other physical labor of work that brings in a paycheck. This work matters more than any other job title. This work matters. Let's pray. Father, thank you for seeing the quiet things, the moments that no one claps for. Thank you for the efforts that may go unnoticed and sometimes cost us our pride. But Lord, teach us to love.

Jennifer Parr (: 21:10

those unseen places where you, only you do your best work. Help us to show up faithfully Lord in our homes, maybe in our workspaces, our relationships, but show up not for the applause Lord, but out of devotion to you. Jesus name you pray, amen. So if today's episode encouraged you, remember I just have one ask, and that is to share it with a friend or leave a review.

because it helps put this show, this podcast, this message in front of other women who may need to hear it. Please take what you've heard today and live it out, but live it out with confidence, live it out with grace, even if nobody else sees it. Go win this week and make God proud. Bye for now.