The World is Lying to You! How to Live Set Apart

Jennifer Parr (: 00:00

Hey winning women, welcome back. And can you believe it? This is our last episode of this season, season one. Wow. What a journey it has been. Now, before we dive into today's powerful conversation, I just want to take a moment to simply say thank you. Whether you've been listening from the beginning or you're just tuning in now, I appreciate you. I appreciate every single one of you on the other side of this mic who are tuning in.

and just really trying to grow and redefine success and what winning looks like in your life. So thank you. Thank you for tuning in. And listen, I have heard from many of y'all that you are not being notified of these episodes. So if you don't want to miss out on future episodes, make sure you sign up for our email list. Yes, I finally created an opportunity to sign up for an email list and that way you'll be notified when season two drops.

Plus you'll also get devotionals and encouragement sent straight to your inbox. So trust me, you don't want to miss out. Just click the link in the show notes and you can sign up for my email list. All right, let's get into today's topic because today we're diving into something deep. I feel like I say that every episode, but it's true. The world is lying to you. I know. But I mean it. Everything that culture glorifies, whether it's money, status, independence of women,

self-empowerment, beauty, image. I mean, these are all good things, right? But sis, it's all a lie. If we're not careful, all of these lies, all of these statements, all of these things that we are being fed, including myself, I fell for it, will pull us so far from God that we won't even recognize ourselves anymore. And so I want to start by asking you a simple question.

And I kicked off this season with the same question. What will the profit a woman if she gains the world, but loses her soul? Today, we're exposing the biggest lies that culture has been telling us, especially as women. And we're going to replace that with God's truth so we can live set apart and most importantly, live free. Matthew 16 26 has been one of the most convicting scriptures.

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that actually inspired me to launch this podcast. Jesus is teaching his disciples. He's preparing them. He's softening their hearts for what's to come, his death and resurrection. But the main idea that we see is a huge contrast being depicted between worldly gain and spiritual loss. Because right before this verse, he tells them in Matthew 16, 24 through 25, and he says, whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.

Pretty much whoever wants to save their life will lose it and whoever loses their life will find it. So he's showing them the cost of discipleship, that following him would require self-denial, sacrifice and a willingness to go against the grain. And isn't that exactly what we struggle with today? I mean, think about it. Modern day examples of worldly success would be

an enticement of riches, it would be more power. It would be success, meaning sacrifice everything you can to gain that success. That was my story. And so we see so many women in today's world, and this may have happened to you, where we get successful, but how is the strength and the health of our marriage? We get successful, but how is our health? We get successful, but how is the completeness and the unity of our family?

There's so much more, but the reality is that none of this matters if we lost our soul in the process. And that's the contrast that Jesus is painting here. Everything comes with a price. And so I'll ask the question again. What good is it if you gain the world and you lose your soul? So if Jesus is calling us to a radically different way of life, a counter cultural way of living, how do we do that in today's society?

So get your notes ready. think these are five of the biggest lies that are sold to women. And I'm going to share a counter-cultural message, a counter-cultural way to live against these lies and live set apart. The cultural message is if you work hard and you earn more, you'll be happy and secure. Now there is nothing wrong with working or being successful. And we all know Proverbs 31, which isn't necessarily talking about a real woman, but

Jennifer Parr (: 04:50

Proverbs 31 talks about a woman who is hardworking and resourceful, and I do believe that women should be hardworking and resourceful. But the problem comes when wealth becomes the ultimate pursuit. I've always said that if I were to work outside of the home again, I would do it completely different. Wealth and material success would not be my driver.

I would ask my husband how he feels about that job that I was seeking and if our family would be cared for in the right way with me working there or working those hours. I would not compete to try to make the same salary as my husband to feel successful. I also would not make my title, my job title an idol. Why? Because Matthew 6 19 tells us that none of this, none of this matters when we stand before God, because our treasures are not in the titles of the world, but they're in heaven.

So while culture says, if you work hard and work more, you'll be happy. The counter cultural response is to seek to steward wealth wisely rather than idolizing it. I've had conversations with women who seem to have it all. I remember right before I left my corporate job, I sat down with a few of my mentors, a lot of these women who were in CEO or the C-suite positions, powerful careers, big houses, financial success.

But I learned that behind closed doors, they were missing important moments in their kids' lives. Their marriages had either fallen apart or they were holding on by a string. Some of them even lost their faith because work became their god. Now, I'm not saying that this is your story, but I'm saying that's the trap. Instead of idolizing wealth, we just need to seek and steward it wisely and prioritize eternal rewards over earthly success. Now,

The second lie is the pressure to build an image based on external validation. And I know we talked about this in one of the episodes, but culture will tell you that your worth is based on your looks, your impact, your platform, your followers. But biblical truth says that the Lord does not look at these things that people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. And that comes from first Samuel seven. See, there's a culture of women going into debt.

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just to keep up appearances. And I've talked about this, keeping up with the Joneses. I mean, I've seen women spend hundreds on their nails, on their hair, designer bags while struggling financially. And when I say struggling financially, they probably will never share that they're struggling financially. But I often just wonder, how are we stewarding our resources that God has given us? There are so many trends out there. are so many trends and it is so easy to fall into the trap of trends.

for external validation because we're seeking approval from people instead of God. I think we have to just be very careful about this lie of external validation and have a countercultural response that instead of seeking validation from people, just embracing your identity in Christ and living that out through your character. Let that drive how you speak. Let that drive how you serve others. Let that drive how you talk.

how you carry yourself, how you dress, how you spend your money, not what will please people. For me, it was my job, but for you, what areas of your life are you seeking approval from others instead of God? All right, so are you still with me? Because number three, which is another lie that is sold to us is the temptation to compromise our faith for acceptance and career success. The world will say it's okay to compromise biblical values

if it helps you get ahead. remember when our son started playing soccer and he actually enjoyed playing soccer at a young age. He's six at the time of this podcast, but when he started playing, he was about four and it didn't take long for coaches to identify his talent and he was asked to play on club teams and so on. So his first club team that he played on, we were so excited when we signed him up for his first soccer season.

And then we got the schedule. So he's already made the team and we got the schedule and we realized that every single game was on a Sunday. Y'all, I was like, are all the parents okay with this? And I remember being told, yeah, this is club. Like if your son wants to play club, then most of the games are on Sunday. Y'all that was the last season he played. We found another team where the games were on Saturday, sometimes on Sundays, but we were not willing to compromise.

Jennifer Parr (: 09:35

our Sundays for his soccer games. Now that season was rough. mean, we would go to church and then we would go to his soccer game. And then we were like, okay, this is way too much. So then we started going to church on Saturday, but then Sunday still were just draining from his soccer games. And we realized we cannot make this a priority. So the countercultural response is to honor God in all of your decisions, not half, not some, but all.

even when it costs popularity or even career advancement. Now, I know this can be challenging, especially with these sport teams and schedules. And so if you can find a way that you can still honor God, still protect your time of peace, still protect your time of worship with your family and don't compromise your faith while doing it. So are there any areas in your life where you've compromised your faith to be accepted? Sometimes this happens with friendships.

Sometimes this happens with relationships. Maybe you're feeling the pressure to skip church for work. Maybe you're being told to stay silent about your faith in professional spaces or going along with things that contradict your beliefs just to fit in. While the world will tell you it's okay to compromise your biblical values, the counter-cultural way of living is that faithfulness to God is way more, way more important than any career, any friendship.

or any opportunity. All right. So the fourth lie that we were being sold is the idea that happiness comes from self-empowerment instead of surrendering to Christ. Now I did a whole episode on this, but the cultural message is to be independent. You don't need anyone, especially not God, right? Why? Because you are enough. That's right. You are enough sis. How many times have you heard that? you're enough. Well, I do believe that people mean well when they say that.

The biblical truth is that Jesus said to them, whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves, must take up their cross and follow me daily. See, we're living in a time where self-confidence and self-love and self-empowerment are constantly preached. mean, society tells us that if we just believe in ourselves more, then we can achieve anything. If we hustle more, we hustle harder, we build a life that we deserve. If we focus on self, then we will be fulfilled.

Jennifer Parr (: 12:01

But when we place our trust in ourselves, we are only building our lives on a shaky foundation. I recently experienced this in a tennis match. Many of y'all know that I love to play tennis. I'm not like a professional or anything, but I love to play recreational tennis. Well, it was a game and we were losing and I found myself thinking, my gosh, okay, Jennifer, I just need to believe in myself more. Come on, Jennifer, have more self-confidence. I mean, I was telling myself this over and over and over again.

Did we win? No. Did that help? Absolutely not. We lost. We got smoked. But that's not the point. The point is that I caught myself all throughout my match. was telling myself messages that I should rely on myself instead of asking God for strength, instead of putting my faith in him. Now, would that have changed the outcome of the match? I don't know. But the truth is that self-confidence will always be limited.

God confidence is limitless. Self confidence is centered around self. But as believers, Luke 9 23 says that we are called to deny ourselves. Self sufficiency or self strength can lead to this pride and perfection. And we push ourselves to try so hard to be enough. True joy and strength comes from Christ and Christ alone, not from self reliance. So if self empowerment worked, then why do so many people feel empty after achieving worldly success?

Well, because the world tells us that happiness is found in ourselves. But the counter-cultural way of living, the biblical way of living, is that true fulfillment comes from Christ. So let me ask you, are there any areas of your life where you are relying more on yourself than God? And where do you need to shift your focus from yourself? Where do you need to shift this self-confidence mindset and shift it and release it to God? All right.

So this last point, I'm so glad you stuck with me until the end because I intentionally saved this for last. I felt like if I started off the episode with this, half of you would have turned it off. I think one of the biggest lies that we have in today's culture is around the S word. And that is that submission is oppressive, submission is outdated, and submission is weak. This is a hot topic in today's world because culture completely distorts.

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what biblical submission means. They throw the verse around and we all know it from Ephesians 5 22 24 that says, wife submit to your husband's as to the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. So we're going to clear up what biblical submission means because I know this society tells us that submission means being weak. Society tells us that submission means giving up control.

and being walked all over, but it's not. Biblical submission is actually about order, not inferiority. Just like Christ is the head of the church, the husband is called to lead his family, right? That doesn't mean that a wife is less valuable. It just means that we have different roles. Submission shows us and allows us to trust God's plan rather than cultural norms. Even in my own marriage.

I know that it is hard to submit, but y'all, I am so honored to submit to my husband because it is a form and an act of respect. More importantly, I trust God to lead through him. I do trust my husband, but I also trust God to lead through him. And let's not forget husbands have a role of submission too. When Alan and I got married, one of the things that we did at our wedding was that we both washed each other's feet.

It was a sign of like mutual submission, similar to how Jesus watches his disciples feet. But what that shows is that while I am honoring my husband, I submit to him respectfully in our marriage. He has to submit to God. And that is a bold calling because see a godly husband is called to sacrifice. A godly husband is called to serve and love his wife with the same devotion that Christ had for the church.

If you know anything about Christ's love for the church, he loved the church. He died for the church. That's how much he loved the church. So what submission is not is that it's not blind obedience. Okay. A wife should never submit to sin or abuse. Submission is not being less than or having no voice. think in a godly marriage, it's about partnership and submission is not about losing power. I don't know how the world has sold us this.

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But it's about trusting in God's divine order for the family. And I know, I know that submission can be so hard for women today because maybe many of us haven't seen it modeled well. Some of us may have grew up in homes where men were controlling or they were abusive. I also think that submission is hard because independence, being independent, was overly emphasized and has been emphasized more than biblical order.

could do literally a whole episode and in season two I probably will because this is something that I have become so passionate about because I have seen how this word has been weaponized and the truth is that God's designed for marriage works when both a husband and a wife walk in obedience to him and to those wives who your husband may be struggling in leadership I believe that prayer is the most powerful weapon that you can have

It's hard to change him. Our job really isn't to change him, but we can pray for him and just simply ask God to shape your husband's heart. And that approach, just that prayer alone is far better than nagging him or even resistance. And so what is your view of submission? Is it healthy? Is it worldly? I know mine was for a while.

But I had to ask myself, does this align with scripture? This movement that we see that submission is weak, I think has destroyed a lot of marriages. Now, once again, I will unpack this in another episode, but if this area is something that's difficult for you, this area could be what is keeping your marriage at strife as you're competing for power roles. I know it's a difficult area, but there are steps that you can take just to trust God's design even more. And so,

I would love to pray for us as we think about these lies that have been sold to women and how we can boldly try to live counterculturally and live free. Father, thank you. Thank you for this truth that we heard today. Thank you for calling us to live differently, to be set apart for your purpose. Lord, we ask that you give us the strength to resist this world and the wisdom to discern your voice above all the noise, above all the lies.

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And Lord help us to chase after you instead of chasing after things that won't last. Father, we ask you to strengthen our faith, deepen our trust and remind us that everything we need is found in you and you alone. So Lord, we just surrender that to you. We submit that to you in your name, in Jesus name that we pray. Amen. So let's quickly recap the takeaways from today and that is to choose faithfulness over fame.

Remember your influence is nothing if it costs you your soul. Practice generosity instead of materialism. Wealth is a tool, but it's not your identity. Embrace contentment over comparison. Remember your worth isn't in likes, it's not in external rewards, it's not in titles, and it's definitely not in validation from the world. Stand firm in your faith, even when it's unpopular.

promise you, God honors those who honor Him. Remember, your confidence should come from Him. Finally, I pray that you embrace biblical submission and not cultural rebellion. True leadership, especially in marriage, is about love, it's about honor, it's about obedience to God's design. And I pray that you write down the scripture of Matthew 16, 26 down as a reminder that there is nothing that is worth losing your soul over.

Alright, so this is the last episode of this season, but this journey is not over. If today's message spoke to you, sign up for our email list so you'll be the first to know when season 2 drops. Plus, I'll be sending out devotionals and encouragement straight to your inbox to keep you uplifted in between seasons. And hey!

If you've been blessed by this episode, feel free to share it with a friend who needs to hear this. Don't get keep. Don't keep this to yourself. And then finally, thank you so much for rocking with me this season. Winning women, I love y'all. I know this is a movement, but we're on this together. So stay faithful, stay bold and go win this week. Bye for now and see you in season two.