The Winning Woman Way: How to Flourish in a World That’s Setting Women Up to Fail

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Hey, beautiful friend. Welcome back to another season of the Winning Women podcast. Before we jump in, can I just take a moment to say thank you? Seriously, your messages, your encouragement, your shares, they've truly blessed me. One sweet listener, Caitlin, said it best. She said that this podcast is a refreshing approach to understanding how to live out biblical womanhood in today's culture.

It's an invitation to flourish. First off, thank you, Caitlin, for that kind review. That is exactly what my heart is for you. Not to live under pressure, but truly to flourish God's way. So if you've been with me since day one, welcome back. If you're tuning in for the first time, welcome. You are already family here. You're already loved and you're in for a season packed with powerful conversations, practical tools, and yes.

some sweet resources, free resources. So you'll definitely want to grab that at the end of this episode and you'll want to stick around to be able to get that. If you're like me, you can't take notes fast enough. Or if I listen to a podcast, I just forget the points. And when I need them, they're not there. Well, I've got you covered. So just stick around to the end. OK, so before we move forward and to understand where we're going this season, we have to see where we've been. We have to take a step back. In our last episode, we unpacked

the lies that the world tries to sell us as women, lies about success, lies about identity and even beauty. And we talked about what it really means to live set apart. So if you haven't listened to that episode yet, no worries. It's still there. You can check it out. But we focused on not just going against the flow of culture for the sake of being different, but anchoring your life in God's truth, even when it's uncomfortable. So if you've ever felt overwhelmed by all of the expectations placed on you as a woman,

Today, we're going to talk about how you can live free by embracing what I call the winning woman way. So first off, how did we get here? How did we get to where we even have to redefine success? For you, it might have taken failure to redefine success. Maybe you had a failed relationship, or maybe you had a failed marriage. Maybe you had a career change that didn't end up the way you planned, or a diagnosis, or a life change.

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or something that literally forced you to rethink a lot. Whatever that is, change often starts with pressure. Maybe you the pressure to hustle hard, but don't let it show, because if you let it show that's weakness, it's exhausting, right? Well, I hate to tell you this, but this pressure that you're feeling isn't an accident. There's a deeper reason why so many women feel stretched thin. So let's pull back the curtain even further.

because I want to talk to you about something I once thought was empowering, but I've now realized that it's leading so many women to feel more pressure than freedom. Okay, so what could it be? Well, here's a clue. It began with noble intentions. It began as fighting for equality, voting rights, opportunities, and even addressing real injustices. And while many of these advances were necessary for change, and there are parts of the world that

still desire this type of change for women, I think it quickly shifted from valuing a woman's God-given uniqueness to encouraging women to be maybe more like men, erasing the beauty of our divine design. You know what I'm talking about now? Yep, I'm talking about the woman's movements. A movement that is celebrated by so many women and some men. A movement that promotes liberation and a movement that I once was a part of.

But see, I realized that over time this movement has shifted and perhaps I was part of a movement under false identities because it stopped valuing women's God-given uniqueness and started telling us that the goal was kind of to become more like men because it blurred and even erased the beauty of God's divine design and how he created women in a soft and delicate way. Here are just a few ways that I have learned over the years.

of how the women's movement has impacted us spiritually and emotionally as women. It's equated strength with independence from God and others. a part of this movement is that we're told to be self-made. And I've talked about this before, and we really don't need anyone. Miss independent, right? Independent woman. I don't need a man. I don't need community. Not even God. But see, remember Proverbs 3, 5 through 6, and John 15, 5 teaches us the complete opposite, that we

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are dependent on God. It's also devalued the home and biblical roles, like being a mom, being a wife, being a nurturer is now labeled as less than compared to climbing the corporate ladder. But remember, in God's eyes, faithfulness matters more than your setting, and that comes from Titus 2, 3 through 5 and Proverbs 31. This movement has also confused identity with achievement. So where you are what you do, but that's fueled so much burnout, shame, and

endless comparison in women. And it's also encouraged rebellion against God's design because biblical submission is now being painted as oppressive, it's being painted as weak, it's being painted as being a doormat, but it's actually protective and honoring. And so it's moved away from fighting for opportunity to redefining what it means to be a woman altogether, to be a successful woman. And I want to say that women are amazing.

Women are the gatekeepers of life. Women, we get things done. Our bodies, our mind, we are resilient. And our strength, the strength of a woman is unmatched, unmatched. And God created us that way. So instead of celebrating the beautiful way that God uniquely designed women, the messages now sound like to be valuable, you have to act like a man or be tough. Femininity is weak.

where motherhood is a burden. And friend, that is not freedom. That is not the freedom that God designed for us. And what's been the result? If you look at the world and look at women, including myself, because I was once a part of this movement, the result is exhaustion in women has skyrocketed. Comparison has now become a lifestyle. And burnout has now become a badge of honor. But you know what else it's done?

It's created loneliness because that's replaced community, authentic community. And body positivity and sexuality are corrupting the hearts of women. And so what's the lesson here? I think the lesson from the women's movement, the feminist movement, is that not all movements are righteous just because they claim to be. As I was reading through my Bible chronologically this year,

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I typically dread going through numbers because it's just a lot of repetition that sometimes can get me distracted. And this year I found an interesting chapter that I've probably read so many times but never really paid attention to. I found out that the movements that we are facing in our world today is nothing new under the sun. Something similar happened. A rebellion that stirred up to overthrow Moses and Aaron.

So you can find this in number 16, and it's called the Rebellion of Korah. So what happened? Well, the Israelites, they've been rescued from Egypt and they were being led by God's appointed leaders, and that was Moses and Aaron. Now, Korah, along with 250 community leaders, challenged Moses and Aaron's God-given leadership. They didn't like it. They claimed that Moses had gone too far, and why should he lead them? So at first glance, when you look at this,

This may have sounded like a cry for equality, but it was actually pride masked as justice. Sound familiar? See, Korah wasn't fighting for holiness. He was hungry for position and power. He wanted more recognition, and he led others into rebellion, literally a movement to attempt to overthrow Moses. Now, what happened? Well, like I said, you can read this in Numbers 16, but spoiler alert,

God's response was swift and serious, just like what God does best. The earth opened up and swallowed Korah and all of those leaders, all of their families and fire from heaven consumed them. So God took them out. God took every last one of them out. See, when we resist God's design and order, it doesn't produce freedom. So are there any areas in your life that you may feel like you're resisting God's order?

to try to redefine his boundaries, biblical boundaries that he has set to make us successful. Whether that could be a relationship, that could be in marriage, that could be in motherhood. But we often try to shift boundaries that God has created to fit our definition of comfort and success. And so you might be wondering, okay, Jennifer, I get it. I need to rethink this woman's movement. I need to rethink the feminist movement. I guess I need to rethink being a feminist.

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We'll explore that more in another episode. You may not even be sure how your feminist views or your women empowerment views are keeping you from flourishing. But you also may want to know like, how can I actively live different in today's world? Well, that is why I created what I call the Winning Women Way Freedom Framework. It's just a guide and it's designed to help you renew your mind and walk out the truth that God is inviting you to step into.

See, each of these eight points are broken down into four parts. You'll hear a cultural message, which are messages that the world is shouting at you, messages that we see on social media, messages that are popular. But then you'll also see the winning women mindset. And this is the truth that God invites you to believe instead. So when I say winning God's way, not the world's way, it's...

countering the world's messages with a mindset that is rooted on God's truth. I'll also provide scriptures just so that you can have foundation to stand on and I'll also share what freedom looks like. And this is a picture of how your life can change when you live it out. So for my note takers, if you haven't started taking notes yet, you'll want to start because I'm about to share the winning women way or at least what I consider the winning women way. And as we go through each one, I encourage you to listen with an open heart. Ask God

Lord, where are you inviting me to think differently? Where are you calling me into a new way of living? So the first way to winning God's way, not the world's way, is to embrace femininity as strength and not weakness. But I'm not talking about the feminist movement. I'm talking about biblical femininity. See, the cultural message or the world message is actually very clever at discussing feminism through media.

and sometimes that looks like women being naked or being sexually progressive just as men, but attention and commitment are not the same thing. See, there's a lot of women who get attention. Attention for the way they look or what they wear or what they're not wearing enough of. But that doesn't mean that men will commit to you. You may get attention, but you won't get the commitment. Another cultural message about femininity is strength. Strength equals masculinity.

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Power equals domination. Women have to be tough to be taken seriously. But the winning women mindset is that femininity and softness and even submission is not fragile. It's powerful. It's a reflection of God's design and strength in women. Winning women can put down their masculine shield. And that comes from Proverbs 31 25, where it says she is clothed in strength and dignity.

So freedom looks like leaning into God's divine design, whether you're a nurturer at home or you're leading in the workplace or both. Don't adopt worldly characteristics or become someone you're not just to be considered valuable or to be considered strong and not weak. So did you get that? The cultural message, the winning women mindset, the scripture to support it and what freedom looks like. Okay, number two.

Choose faithfulness over fame. The winning women way is that winning women choose faithfulness over fame. The cultural message is that influence equals impact. The more influence you have, the more you can impact. So build your platform, get noticed, do whatever you have to do to get ahead. But the winning women mindset is that the unseen, faithful acts matter most to God. To God, obedience is greater than influence.

And there's so many examples in the Bible where God honored obedience over influence. So what does freedom look like? Well, freedom in this area looks like being okay with not being seen. Being okay being behind the scenes. Being okay doing the things that don't always get celebrated publicly because God sees and that's all that matters. That's enough. So the third point of the winning women way is to love your neighbor even when the world divides.

See, the world will encourage you to align with people who only think like you, who vote like you, who look like you, and support your cause and cancel the rest. But the winning-woman mindset is to love your neighbor, no matter their background, their race, their opinion, or their past. Why? Because they are created in the imago Dei, which is the image of God that comes from Genesis 1.27. When I think of loving your neighbor as yourself, which comes from Mark 12.31,

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I think of the parable of the good Samaritan because Jesus demonstrated this where the hero was the most unexpected one, a Samaritan. A Samaritan who was from a group that was despised by Jews. The religious leaders passed by the man, but the Samaritan, the good old Samaritan stopped and bandaged him up. So loving your neighbor, even when the world is divisive and what freedom looks like,

in this area is refusing to let movements, refusing to let politics or culture define who's worthy of your love. Because God calls us to love with compassion, not condition. All right, so number four is to redefine success God's way. This is the heart behind this podcast. I think that winning women have to understand that success is faithfulness in the season God has you in, not in a title or a timeline.

Culture's message will tell you to climb that ladder. Culture's message will tell you to break that glass ceiling. More is better. But the winning-woman mindset, once again, is that success is faithfulness in the season that God has you in, not in a title or a timeline. I chased titles for years, and the season that God has me in now is a much more fruitful season.

than anything that I would have ever accomplished or received in the season when I was hustling chasing a title in corporate America. The scripture that comes to mind to support redefining success God's way is simple. Matthew 6 33, seek first the kingdom of God, seek first. See freedom in this area to redefine success God's way is being okay with a slower pace, being okay with a quieter season if that's where God has called you.

Number five is live by faith and not by sight. The winning women mindset in this area is that God invites us to walk by faith by placing our trust in His promises rather than our own perception. See, culture compares, covets, and competes. The world encourages us to compare our lives, our achievements, and appearances with those around us, and this only leads to envy and discontent. But...

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2 Corinthians 5-7 says, we live by faith, not by sight. And so recognize that God's plan is for you. It's distinct and purposeful. Comparing your path to someone else's can lead you away from his blessings that he has in store just for you. And what does freedom look like in this area? Well, living by faith and not by sight is making decisions based on God's Word.

and leading rather than solely on visible outcomes or popular opinion. Number six is care for your temple. See, culture celebrates body positivity. And I say that because I am not trying to shame any woman who has experienced seasons of weight loss. I have been there. But the message that I hear in the world is that if you gain weight, just own it. Or I hear the extreme where it's obsess over your body and looks.

even if it's unhealthy. But see, the winning woman mindset is don't obsess over your body, but instead honor God with it. Stewarding your health, rest, nutrition, movement, and boundaries is not about appearance or seeking approval. It's an act of intentionally honoring God with the body that He has given you and caring for it.

See, 1 Corinthians 6, 19 through 20 says that our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit. And so what does freedom look like in this area of caring for your temple? Well, that could mean just moving your body a little bit more, maybe nourishing it intentionally, resting in it because it's a reflection of your creator, but just being very careful with what you put in your body. A healthy body and mind allows you to show up for what God is calling you to do.

And this may mean breaking a lot of habits. I recently went on a health journey where I lost over 30 pounds, but this took over three years to do. And quite frankly, the reason it took so long was because I had a hard time unlearning all of these habits, all these concepts about food that I had that I did not realize were keeping me back, keeping me in a very limited mindset. And so now I just eat a little bit more cleaner. I eat a little bit more intentional.

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But the best thing about it is that I feel so much better. I'm getting sleep. I'm not as anxious as I used to be. I don't struggle with insomnia. And I have energy to show up for my kids and my family and my husband. All right. So number seven is raise the next generation with legacy in mind. So what does this mean? Well, culture's message will tell you don't let motherhood slow you down. Your kids will be fine. Do whatever you need to do. But I think the winning women mindset is

Whether you're mothering or mentoring, think of raising kids and influencing godly children as kingdom work. The scripture behind this is Proverbs 22, 6, it says, train up a child in the way that he should go. Children are a blessing. They're not a burden. I see so many messages, especially from women that complain about having children or complain about how they were passed up on a promotion because of having kids or having a family to care for.

And it comes off as if this is a burden, but freedom in this area is knowing that pouring into your family or someone God has put on your path is not a burden, but it carries eternal significance. Your influence in your child's life, your presence in your child's life, your presence or your influence in that child that you choose to mentor is not just for your benefit.

but you could be pouring into them and they could go on and make disciples and that person could make disciples and it ends up carrying eternal significance. And speaking of disciples, the last and final point to the winning women way and that is to be a disciple maker, to live for eternal purpose. See the culture message will have you focusing on your brand, have you focusing on your platform, your legacy, chasing influence.

and do what makes you happy, right? But the winning-women mindset to be a disciple maker and live for eternal purpose is that you aren't saved to be successful, but you're saved to make disciples. Your purpose isn't about building a name for yourself, but it's about pointing others to His name. Every conversation can be an opportunity to plant a seed. Every conversation. So what does freedom look like in this area?

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For many of you, you don't even know maybe what it means to be a disciple. I know I didn't. That word was always very intimidating. But it could start with a conversation. Whether you're mentoring your kids, whether you're encouraging a friend, whether you're walking with a co-worker and faith, but it's about living your life, a purpose-driven life where your actions reflect Christ and point others to Jesus. That's all it is. Pointing people to Jesus, not yourself.

The most powerful ministry can happen around your kitchen table or in your workplace. You never know who God will put in your path, but every conversation can be an opportunity to plant a seed. And sometimes we're called to plant the seed and somebody else is called to water it. But all we need to do is just be obedient. So just for a quick recap, the winning women way is to one embrace femininity as strength and not weakness. To choose faithfulness over fame.

To love your neighbor even when the world divides. To redefine success God's way. And to live by faith, not by sight. But it's also about caring for your temple and raising the next generation with legacy in mind. And the eighth, and my favorite point, is to be a disciple maker. To have purpose, to live for eternal purpose that glorifies God and not yourself. So as we close, friend,

I know that the world will always offer you a fake version of success. But when you follow the way of winning women, when you follow God's way, you'll find real freedom, you'll find real fulfillment and real fruit that lasts. If you can't do all of those things, just focus on two or focus on one and just ask God to soften your heart and how you can grow in that area. And I know I made a lot of points today, so to help you stay encouraged.

Today's points are actually in a downloadable resource so you can grab it at the link in the show notes. Keep it nearby for those days that you feel pressure creeping in. Keep it nearby for those days when the world's messages or even the messages that we tell ourselves are loud. Keep it for those days when you don't feel worthy. And keep it for those days when you need encouragement. So be sure to grab the free downloadable resource. I made it just for you to keep these truths close as you walk out your journey.

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and I'd love to pray for you before we leave. Father, thank you for calling us to a different path. Thank you for calling us to the winning path. Strengthen us to stand with courage, courage like the midwives who saved Moses. Strengthen us to love like you, to walk by faith and not by sight.

and make us women who honor you above culture, who disciple others, and who live for your glory. We're grateful just to be loved and to be seen by you. And for that, Lord, we ask and we pray that that is enough. In Jesus' name we pray, amen. All right, friend, go win this week. Don't forget to get the notes from today's episode and go make God proud.